"kendall's pepsi ad"

PepsiCo.

It might come as a surprise to anyone who hasn't been paying particular attention to the news cycle as of late, but a nefarious goopy nectar, cloistered by the (deceptively) pleasurable color blue, has been harming members of the African American community for decades now, and we are only now becoming aware of the noxious bodily harms incurred. No, I'm not talking about the rash of police officer killings at the hands of innocent young black men, or the openly derisive #BlueLivesMatter movement, I'm talking about an organization far more odious and influential than the gatekeepers of our criminal justice system — PEPSI CO. Yes, pop, soda, cola, whatever you want to call this potable swill, has emerged as the new standard bearer for physical and mental insolvency — and thanks to the latest scientific revelation which decrees refined sucrose is indeed bad for you (like, cigarettes bad), many of the internet's finest #WOKEBAES have taken to Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram to lead an all-out offensive against the syrupy giant's recent ad campaign, singling out their attempt to bring warring factions of riot cops and Hillary Clinton supporters together for an ending so saccharine it'll melt in your heart, not in your head. This ploy by corporations to usurp and harness political movements is nothing new, as Coca Cola's most revered ad campaign of the '70s (recently unearthed to commercial and critical acclaim by Mad Men series creator Matthew Weiner), celebrated the hippie counter-culture scene by showing people from all walks of life synchronistically dropping their guard for a single, fleeting moment to proclaim their undying love and allegiance for Coke, harmonizing the left, right, center and magically bringing the world together through song. Yet for some misguided reason, Pepsi thought it would be fun to re-create that cultish magic (on the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination no less), and fell all kinds of short. 

Granted, most of these folks are finally wising up to the fact that Pepsi's most lucrative competitors — Coke, Sprite, 7-Up, Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper, Sunkist, Barq's, Fanta, and their cheap, Cherry-infused knock-offs are known for preying on the disadvantaged working class, who routinely consume soda not out of privilege, but out of necessity. Yet what is perhaps most tone-deaf about Pepsi's overzealous attempt to monetize BLM and the recent uptick in protests over Trump's historic rise to power, is the spokesperson chosen for the ad. As an avid avoider of all things "Kardashian," I cannot (and will not) pretend to know anything about Kendall Jenner's politics or motivation for starring in this commercial. I do, however, have a sneaking suspicion that her family unit, which rose to power in a similar fashion to Trump (via branding, reality TV, and a boatload of shameless self-promotion), is more interested in money than any real desire to start a dialogue about the current state of our hyper-polarized political climate. Kendall might've seemed like one of the more level-headed Kardashians of the brood, but then again, I never expected the family patriarch, Bruce Jenner, to come out to the world as "Caitlyn," and force us all to swoon over her brave transformation while she publicly trashed Hillary Clinton — the only candidate in the race who supported Trans rights and equal protections for the LGBTQ community. These selfish acts of course reaffirm what we already knew about Kendall, Kim, Kris, Kylie, Kourtney, Khloe, and Kanye; that they are brazen proponents of reverse-altruism, pretending to be your best friends one day so they can sell you a product the next. There is no "reality" to speak of for this opportunistic household, except for the love of celebrity, wealth and excess. Once we get that through our thick skulls as a society, we can finally move on from the farcical charade we've been been forced to endure for the last ten years.

The Kardashians are definitely not your friends, but they're also not the only superstars cashing in on this disease-inducing liquid. Take Beyoncé and LeBron James for example, who were (for a time), the faces of Pepsi and Sprite, respectively. I don't seem to remember any PR backlash on Twitter or FB when they were chosen as the companies' brand ambassadors, though it was widely known at the time that 'big soda' contributed to higher rates of childhood obesity, especially in lower income neighborhoods. Hypertension, gum disease, and a whole other host of long-term health defects associated with these popular drinks were well-documented long before Queen Bey or King James ever became their companies' extended mouthpieces — yet I didn't hear a public outcry then, and I probably won't hear one now. This Pepsi ad however could prove to be a turning point, where we as consumers finally get to decide what kinds of stories marketers and advertisers tell us about ourselves and our communities. Whether or not we choose to bite is entirely up to us, but at least we won't be so easily fooled by the cherished dignitaries paid to swindle us into ingesting poison. Soda is not only a chemical poison, which we already know makes us sicker, slower, fatter, and more depressed over time, but a psychological poison, thriving on our willingness to deny threats to our own well-being. When we stop associating these products with unmitigated happiness, and start treating them as the threatening contaminants they really are, we'll erase their false narratives for good, ending a vicious cycle of ignoble conglomerates 'force feeding' us candy-coated backwash like clockwork. Whether it's soda, law enforcement, or seductive commodification, the nail through the heart for all of us is self-neglect, and if we're lucky enough, we'll be able to point to this terrible ad one day as a teachable moment: when we finally woke the hell up and realized we've been lied to — not only by corporations, but by celebrity culture, and the con artists currently occupying the West Wing of the White House. Whether we like it or not, we've been duped, and there isn't a drink out there sweet enough to make that bitter pill easy to swallow.